Chase Happiness, Not Perfection
Another philosophical post coming up after a long time. The findings of this post are personal and in no way try to impose one chain of thought over the other.
Most of the people we meet in life can be categorized into 3 types -
1. Toppers
2. Mid-benchers
3. Back-benchers
Let us examine the first type : Topper
Toppers might not be the most intelligent or the most hard-working of students but what sets them apart is their attitude. Toppers have an inherent habit of chasing perfection in everything they do. Most of us have encountered this situation where after an exam, the topper would say that "I didn't do well" and end up scoring 97-98/100. Most of us wonder then, how did he/she not do well in the exam? We infer that the topper is a serial liar and make our peace with it. What we don't realize is that the topper wasn't lying at all - that person was more upset over losing 2 marks than gaining 98. This habit of chase, perfection is what sets them apart from the rest of class. As these toppers progress in life, they carry this attitude to their careers, personal life etc. While this attitude will help in reaching peaks - it also ensures that the topper is never happy personally. Even at 99.9% achievement level, the topper will be thinking "If I had done x differently, I would have ended up at 100%". Life is a journey that needs to be enjoyed. When you reach the destination, more than the destination you reminisce and enjoy the memories, experiences you had along the way. Thus we should not allow ourselves to chase relentless perfection and stop enjoying the process. Lets relax, chill and then take a step forward towards our destination. Even if we end up at 90% - it would still be worth it. Also making peace with 90% helps us chase other things in life which can be missed out otherwise : Making friends, making time for family, watching movies etc. etc. Life is not a race,it is a marathon where we should derive pleasure out of every step.
Back-benchers are at the other extreme end of the topper philosophy. They believe life is only meant to be enjoyed - they avoid/escape from struggle as much as possible. They don't want to burn the midnight oil and starve themselves out of the pleasure a midnight after-party might offer. They rely on other people for the basic necessities of life. They feel that if the basic necessities are met - life is fulfilling and the rest of the time should be devoted to hedonistic pursuits.In this process, they deprive themselves of reaching Maslow's need of SELF-ACTUALIZATION. The sense of achievement is what gives purpose to our lives. The definition of achievement might vary for each person but we realize the value of something only after we had to fight for it. When it wasn't easily available to us. Achievement is what gives us confidence to step out, meet myriad people and form our own individual identity. Every human being wants this - it is a big part of our life whether we acknowledge it or not.The back-benchers are under the illusion of being happy - the moment someone compares them to another similar person in their vicinity who is independent, self-made these back-benchers go into depression and start harboring a complex vs. the other person. Hence again the back-bencher philosophy doesn't work in life and should be refrained from.
The mid-benchers have been able to live the best out of the 3, in my humble opinion. They are the ones who try to focus on the optimistic side of life- they see the glass half full than half empty most of the time. They balance between career, family, hobbies, friends, personal pursuits better than anyone else. They enjoy the journey and gather a lot of pleasant memories in the process. While this may seem contradictory to a lot of toppers -"How can I be content with a 85%", "How can I be happy being good but not the best" is what they would ask but in the end it is a choice between reaching the top and having no-one else to bask in the joy with you OR reaching maybe the 3rd largest peak and having supporting friends & family to cheer you on. Both friends and family need time -some of us are very lucky in finding unconditionally loving friends & family. They will support us and cheer us on even if we don't take out time for them but they also feel unfulfilled in the relationship. So IMHO I would opt for being somewhere in between topper & mid-bencher, the non-compromising aspect being taking the people I value the most along with me in this journey. Enjoying and deriving pleasure every step of the way while not losing sight of the destination where I plan to be after a certain time.
Adios!
Another philosophical post coming up after a long time. The findings of this post are personal and in no way try to impose one chain of thought over the other.
Most of the people we meet in life can be categorized into 3 types -
1. Toppers
2. Mid-benchers
3. Back-benchers
Let us examine the first type : Topper
Toppers might not be the most intelligent or the most hard-working of students but what sets them apart is their attitude. Toppers have an inherent habit of chasing perfection in everything they do. Most of us have encountered this situation where after an exam, the topper would say that "I didn't do well" and end up scoring 97-98/100. Most of us wonder then, how did he/she not do well in the exam? We infer that the topper is a serial liar and make our peace with it. What we don't realize is that the topper wasn't lying at all - that person was more upset over losing 2 marks than gaining 98. This habit of chase, perfection is what sets them apart from the rest of class. As these toppers progress in life, they carry this attitude to their careers, personal life etc. While this attitude will help in reaching peaks - it also ensures that the topper is never happy personally. Even at 99.9% achievement level, the topper will be thinking "If I had done x differently, I would have ended up at 100%". Life is a journey that needs to be enjoyed. When you reach the destination, more than the destination you reminisce and enjoy the memories, experiences you had along the way. Thus we should not allow ourselves to chase relentless perfection and stop enjoying the process. Lets relax, chill and then take a step forward towards our destination. Even if we end up at 90% - it would still be worth it. Also making peace with 90% helps us chase other things in life which can be missed out otherwise : Making friends, making time for family, watching movies etc. etc. Life is not a race,it is a marathon where we should derive pleasure out of every step.
Back-benchers are at the other extreme end of the topper philosophy. They believe life is only meant to be enjoyed - they avoid/escape from struggle as much as possible. They don't want to burn the midnight oil and starve themselves out of the pleasure a midnight after-party might offer. They rely on other people for the basic necessities of life. They feel that if the basic necessities are met - life is fulfilling and the rest of the time should be devoted to hedonistic pursuits.In this process, they deprive themselves of reaching Maslow's need of SELF-ACTUALIZATION. The sense of achievement is what gives purpose to our lives. The definition of achievement might vary for each person but we realize the value of something only after we had to fight for it. When it wasn't easily available to us. Achievement is what gives us confidence to step out, meet myriad people and form our own individual identity. Every human being wants this - it is a big part of our life whether we acknowledge it or not.The back-benchers are under the illusion of being happy - the moment someone compares them to another similar person in their vicinity who is independent, self-made these back-benchers go into depression and start harboring a complex vs. the other person. Hence again the back-bencher philosophy doesn't work in life and should be refrained from.
The mid-benchers have been able to live the best out of the 3, in my humble opinion. They are the ones who try to focus on the optimistic side of life- they see the glass half full than half empty most of the time. They balance between career, family, hobbies, friends, personal pursuits better than anyone else. They enjoy the journey and gather a lot of pleasant memories in the process. While this may seem contradictory to a lot of toppers -"How can I be content with a 85%", "How can I be happy being good but not the best" is what they would ask but in the end it is a choice between reaching the top and having no-one else to bask in the joy with you OR reaching maybe the 3rd largest peak and having supporting friends & family to cheer you on. Both friends and family need time -some of us are very lucky in finding unconditionally loving friends & family. They will support us and cheer us on even if we don't take out time for them but they also feel unfulfilled in the relationship. So IMHO I would opt for being somewhere in between topper & mid-bencher, the non-compromising aspect being taking the people I value the most along with me in this journey. Enjoying and deriving pleasure every step of the way while not losing sight of the destination where I plan to be after a certain time.
Adios!
No comments:
Post a Comment